THE ROOM ON THE ZOOM by Penny Dolan

  

Oh look! A big crowd of people! 

Hmm. Thank you kindly, but not today.

Like many writers, I'm not comfortable in large group situations. Now, after eleven months of social distancing, I'm even less familiar with how the world out there works.

I do see people: delivery men, neighbours in the street and various shop assistants. I even saw a multitude of masked figures directing cars and lucky folk at the mass vaccination centre near York last week. Well-organised but slightly dizzying. 

The lockdowns have distanced and quietened a lot of the usual discussing, chatting, laughing and joking that makes us Us. Communication takes place through waving, pointing and making friendly gestures. Long interesting public conversations? Never.

Live person to person speech does exist but usually through the computer screens, even for the face-to-face family meetings and birthday celebrations.

It's a new way of living.

 

  

Additionally, gatherings that once took place in church & community halls, bars and homes now meet on screen: book groups, courses, meetings, organisations, photo clubs and more. Even with a speaker and Speaker Option, one aspect of such meetings is that particular group being there together.

 

However, after so long almost alone, a whole screenful of faces can sometimes set that awkward feeling fluttering again. I really am glad to be there among what passes for company now, but they create their own demands.. Unsociable? Possibly. Illogical, yes? Maybe one simply gets out of the habit of people?

 

 

 

So, for February's post, I'm pondering about all that's involved in welcoming Zoom into my room.

1. The Time When It Happens.

Personally, I'm not eager for early morning zooms. A potter around the garden or a sprint round the block beforehand might make it easier - or not? If you're naturally full of dawn bounciness, please rein in your delight. Thank you.

How about sessions later in the morning? Does anybody ever, ever zoom then? Perhaps late morning is when the work that happens happens? 

There's definitely a zoom crush-hour period mid-afternoon, where people are trying to fit in this or that meeting, or to flit between meetings, while late afternoon zooms often crashing into home demands and that making-a-meal thing.

A true evening zoom with a small group of friends suits me best socially and can be delightful although if the day's already been zoomful, I might be pie-eyed with screen fatigue.  

Is the answer that there's no good time, but somehow we cope?

 

2. The Known and the Unknowns.

Who's there? Everybody! There's a long moment when the screen fills with faces all staring as blankly at the screen as you are. Who are they? A feeling followed, on a good day, by the relief of knowing a few of the other people even if you last met in person ages ago. Waving and sending the odd personal chat lightens the zoom a lot.

However, there's also the factor of the "too well known" face: i.e. the horror of seeing one's own face on screen for far longer than is comfortable. See Item 3. And 4.

Of course, it's possible to retreat, to go for the "name only" option, which I have used at times too. That choice must be the bane of teacher's and lecturer's lives. How can one teach to so many closed doors?  Is it worse than seeing one's audience clearly entranced by a range of other activities?

There are people who show a photo or personal image and that feels much more "present" even though they could secretly be practising Tai Chi, or knitting pairs of Bernie Sanders mittens out of view  (Mitten images not available.) 

 

3. To Dress or Not to Dress?

Looking at you, looking at you? The media has already been filled with articles about clothing and zoom-readiness and you know your own style anyway. 

I decided that My Zoom Look has three main purposes:

a) To indicate I am attending. If I'm feeling bright and alert, I'll wear the cheery yellow cardigan hanging handily nearby, while a grim mood will have me retreating into my everyday murky tones. I go from visible to the invisible persona and back again, depending on the mood of the day.

b) To avoid embarassing "stand-up" appearances, such as being trouser-less during a meeting. Absolutely unlikely. Or else caught "leaning in" far enough to reveal a previously unseen pattern of food and coffee stains spread out across my top. Frequent.

 c) To keep me at exactly the right point of comfort when sitting still for ages, i.e. enough cosiness, but not too much. My wonderfully wooly coatigan is a cocoon of warmth but I've risked drifting off to sleep during evening "listening" meetings.  Maybe I have?

And, one wild day, I will try out the scarlet silk dressing gown and see if anyone notices. 

 

4. Gilding the Onion/Lily. . . 

Yes, more on the Visage problem. This week I - who last bought such an item four years ago - felt an urgent need to buy some bright new lipstick.  I did: three colours in fact and not one was Invisible Beige. Why? Subconciously, they can only be for appearing on screen as I am wearing facemasks out in town. Like the perfume sprayed on just before a zoom, they must be a confidence trick, another defence against the screen's cold stare. 

Zoom interiors bring their own problems. The room lighting needs to be suitably balanced. Bright lights, badly-angled, can add a scary Hammer Horror effect while dimmer, subtler lighting recreates a creature from the caves of Mount Doom. Aagh!

(I must add that arranging my room lighting home here is definitely work-in-progress. ) 

Then there's the room's decoration itself, especially the oh-so-casual and possibly-curated background. As an avid observer of media presenter's bookshelves and decor, I know there's a curiosity factor. My own room view is a closed door- with luck - and a large elephant poster on a lop-sided pin-board: not the strongest or most meaningful setting. 

Yet - and I have looked at some - a wobbling fantasy background wouldn't suit me either.  There's work to be done on the surroundings, one day soon.

 

5. And, last, the Perils of Pets and other Distractions.

As the human eye is trained to notice movement, any activity in the speaker's or participant's background immediately attracts attention. A playful cat can sabotage a once-well-focused chat-line, let alone the casual revealing of parrots or hamsters or snakes.

I sometimes wonder if people train their pets to parade about in front of the webcam if ever a session becomes less interesting?

Here, Cat Oliver, Oliver . . .

Acts of eating and drinking invite chat-line curiosity too -  What's in there? What have you got? Oh, I love those . . . -  as well as polite apologies. Sorry to . . . busy before . . . Some say that mugs are far more subtle than a wine glass during more austere zoom discussions.  Oh, have you read his/her latest? (Sip) Yes, incredible! (Sip). . .

However, while grown-ups should be discreet in their background meanderings Hissing:Please do that dressing gown up! I find that appearances by any young ones are welcome distractions. 

Who can resist a moment's attractive screen-bombing?

 

 

That's it, but a quick moment aside. These are sensitive times, so if you're someone who, from necessity, spends all your time delivering information on-screen. please excuse these idle, personal grumblings and mutterings. 

I'm lucky. My life means that I can join in with meetings and talks almost anytime. I'm not somebody WFH at their full-time job with child care issues and trying to write in the small hours, to whom any zoom lighting is the smallest of concern. I'm grateful to have my own computer and internet service, too, as I know there are many children and families sharing online space and time right now. From the tweets I've seen - is a whole other story about online school & student provision.

Besides, organising a book group on zoom is fretful enough - Hello! Have you unmuted yet? - so I can't imagine the demands of running a long course for lots of people or for pupils-and-their-parents. Besides, although I've pre-recorded Storytime videos, I haven't tried out online Author visits myself yet.

So, right now, I'm ending with huge respect to all the Virtual School Visitors of the Scattered Authors Society who - knowledgably and interestingly - fill the Room on the Zoom* with bright and happy faces. Congratulations for all you do.

Onwards, now, and wishing everyone a good & just-the-right-kind-of- sociable February!

 

Penny Dolan

@pennydolan1 

* Other conferencing systems are available.