Writing is hard work sometimes.
That’s a pretty obvious thing to say.
What I mean, if I’m a bit more specific, is remembering why
you write is hard work sometimes.
Before that first deal you write for the love of writing.
The joy of taking yourself off into another place. Creating
characters is so much fun isn’t it?
Inhabiting different worlds, living different lives, you
have adventure and excitement at your fingertips. The words flow, gush, tsunami
out from your fingertips. The world is a bright and exceptional place and you have
found your inner creative genius. You have discovered what you were always
meant to do and in that you have revealed the best part of yourself, to
yourself.
Enjoy this bit!
Now, if only you can get that first book deal, everything will
be outstanding for the rest of your life. You’ll have that book on a shelf. You
will be validated. Nothing will ever be wrong ever again.
Right?
RIGHT?
Well here it is!
They love your work! They are willing to take a chance on an
unknown kid – or rapidly aging adult in my case. Your book is out there in the
shops. You get sent photographs of readers chortling along, scared witless,
crying real tears – not necessarily on the same page.
You have made it.
Enjoy this bit!
So now you have everything you ever wanted.
Right?
RIGHT?
Except isn’t so and so
having their twelfth book deal over there? And have you heard that so and so has just won a prize for being
the best writer the world has ever seen and of course, that has led to a
twenty-seven-figure book deal, which will last them for the rest of their lives,
and beyond if they are cryogenically frozen and manage to come back?
And why can’t you write anymore?
What has happened to your magical fingers?
Why does your ideas bank feel like a squeezed out, dried up,
mouldy half-eaten jellyfish?
It’s fine! You WILL get that second book out if it kills
you. Which it might well do.
Enjoy this bit!
And on it goes.
And then suddenly you will wake one morning and realise you
are a boring author. Or at least this is what happened to me.
I don’t mean my work is boring. I mean I am boring.
My husband comes home at night to find me bleating about the
fact I haven’t won the Nobel Peace Prize for Literature.
I mean, I’ve got a book out for 7-9’s for goodness sake. It’s
beautiful (it really is) and the Queen hasn’t even had the manners to give me a
call to commemorate my services to fiction?
Gah.
Ryan Gosling moment...
Ah, that’s better.
And so I am taking a step back in a saintly type manner.
I do have a looming deadline
for my second book (thank you Earth, planets, stars, gods, Firefly Press, special agent Ben Illis, everyone) and I do
have to write words.
BUT I made myself stop this morning and really have a think.
Why am I writing?
What is it I love about it? Is it the pay cheque?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Or is it the storytelling? The love of words? The way I feel
when I lose myself in something? The feeling of communicating with other
humans? Of sharing the human experience?
What am I trying to say?
About life? About people and cultures? Friendships? Strength
in the face of adversity? Connections? Being human?
What am I trying to say with ‘Gaslight’ my forthcoming MG
novel - to be launched at the Cardiff Kid’s Lit Fest next April, please come,
there’ll be cake - and why did I start writing it? What do I love about it? Why is
it important?
Take yourself off on a walk with your dog – you can borrow
mine if you don’t have one, he’s a lovely little fella – and remind yourself
that what you are doing is important.
VERY important. You are telling stories and what could be
more glorious than that?
You don’t have to become embroiled in the angst of it all – at least
not all the time. And neither does your husband - sorry Guy.
And when you see those people who became a success overnight
just remind yourself that they didn’t. They’ve been through all of the stages
you are going through and might still be going through them now.
Just like those people who can eat whatever they like and
never put any weight on, who you see leaving for their morning jog at 6ish every day.
Most importantly comparison is the enemy of achievement (or some quote like that) and
this is about you and your creative journey, isn’t it? Isn't it?
So remember to enjoy it. Enjoy all of it. Every last second. We are the privileged creative people and that is worth the ride.
And apologies for the manic / happy elf pic but I am the 26th blogger so Boxing Day will be too late!
Happy writing!
4 comments:
True indeed. Always follow your own path, not someone else's.
How good to read such a cheerful and enthusiastic post, Eloise! (Especially as ABBA closes for a few days over Christmas, so we'd miss your elfin look and smile on the 26th.)
That was a really good post. You are so right. Thank you for reminding me!
Only just seen these comments! Hope you all had a lovely Christmas. Follow your own path in 2017! :)
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