One more time? By Steve Way

 

Hi. I hope you don’t mind indulging me one more time. I’m wondering if this is becoming an addiction…

 

A few more signs…
BORDEAUX   Where water doesn’t have enough to occupy itself.	SEVILLE   Train station twined with Paddington.
BERLIN   Visit the naturist commune managed by Lyn.	BERLIN   Come a see the bears queuing up for breakfast at the city zoo.
PATAGONIA   (Gonias also like being stroked.)	You’ve been to RIYADH Why not visit WRHYTHNG
HAMSTERDAM   Where hamsters go to chill out….	HAMSTERDAM   Holding back the hamster invasion…
And some more limericks…
There was a girl from New York, Completely addicted to pork, She gave her doctors a fright, By eating it day and night, So they set about stealing her fork.	There once was a lady called Lynne, Who ran a bar in Dublin, She went out of business I fear, For she refused to serve beer, Citing drinking a sin.
Larry the Number 10 cat, Is ‘mouser’ to PMs short, tall or fat, One didn’t like pets, And refused him the vets, So Larry just pooed in his hat.	Larry the ‘mouser’, Ran up the PMs trouser, Negotiation stopped it seemed, As the PM loudly screamed, (Though the Commons was none the wiser.)
A Welshman visited France, And found himself in a dance, The ‘Moulin’ girls were amused, The audience looked on bemused, While he whirled around in a trance.	A Scotsman by the name of Harris, Decided once to visit Paris, For a very silly bet, He ate ten tons of Crêpes Suzette, And thereby did himself embarrass.
A silly man from Amsterdam, Invented a potato jam! On toast it tasted rank and vile, Making people run a mile! But… it was quite nice with ham!?!
Then some road signs…
ZIMBABWE WAY	GOA WAY
CHESTER-LE-STREET STREET	LONG AND WINDING AVENUE Leading to ROCKY CLOSE
LOVER’S LANE Leading to CALL-IT-OFF-CLOSE	HELL >   Please follow the diversions while we repair the Good Intentions Causeway (we’ve been meaning to get round to it for ages.)
Registry Office >   < Solicitors Office	LOIS LANE
DIVERSION      à	ART GALLERY
Finally, you can’t blame a lad for dreaming…
STEVE WAY WAY

 

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In the ‘Real Story’ series, we find out that our heroine should really be referred to as ‘The Princess who does PE’. Also how Goldie Lock gets on in the Bear’s house as she’s being trained to be a reluctant thief by her parents. We also discover what happens when the Dumpty family roll into town as part of the food circus and how the plan of The Three ‘Blind’ Mice to play a trick on the farmer’s wife nearly goes wrong. Little Billy Goat Gruff tricks his friends into believing that an ogre is guarding the gate leading to the delicious green field, so they need to hide while he deals with the situation… and then discovers the awful truth… Finally, The Grand Old Duke of York needs help from the impending invasions by The Grand Young Duke of Oldham and The Grand Middle-Aged Duke of Newcastle. His soppy men will be no use after marching up and down hills… he needs the support of some hardened fishermen from Scarborough, who recommend knitting as a form of defence…