Floating a few more ideas By Steve Way

 Hi all, Suddenly it's my day to post again and I've been up to my eyeballs this month, so I hope you don't mind, I thought I'd share a few more daft signs I've thought up since last time, plus a comment inspired by a statement regarding sunken ships...

Welcome to DERRY Sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding. Yes, you can get milk here but much more besides.	Welcome to LONDONDERRY Where we like to keep a record of events about what’s happening in London.
Welcome to BELFAST So, we can’t ring it unfortunately.	Welcome to The Isle of Mull Where we like to think things over carefully.
Welcome to BOLTON Though we don’t know why we’re running… and what from…	Welcome to STOCKPORT It’s a delicious rich, fruity drink, which why we recommend keeping plenty of it.
Welcome to GLOUCESTER We suggest not coming here when it’s raining, particularly if you are in the medical profession.	Welcome to ST IVES A town in which many people share the same surname and where cats are mollycoddled.
Welcome to The Mull of Kintyre Where we also like to spend our time thinking things over, though it can be fatiguing for your family.	You are now leaving MIDDLESBROUGH Why not visit FIRSTBORNBROUGH or Always-been-the-baby-of-the-family-even-though-he’s-in-his-40s-now-brough?
PAR IS The goal of most amateur golfers.	Welcome to ROME Feel free to wander through our city. (Superb mobile signal by the way.)
MOS COW She stood still in the rain to often…	U KRAINE Me dumper truck
BARCE LONA Available from Barce Financial Services.	S PAIN The extraordinary allergy to the letter S.
I TALY You call out the numbers.	CORN WALL A surprisingly good building material.
PO LAND Jokes about bears we can live with, but toilet jokes not appreciated.	FIN LAND Though we’re wider than you’d think…
CANA DA Not at that price anyway. But if you make me a better offer?	HO LLAND Pst… Forget Lapland… Father Christmas comes from here really…
BRAZ IL Who would have thought an item of clothing could become unwell?	See our Non-sunk submarines Famous for being able to ‘float’ near the bottom of the sea…

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'It started like this. A Mrs Jones lived next door to Mrs Jones.'
A study of the absurdity of runaway consumerism. Mrs G Jones continuously competes to outdo her neighbour Mrs J Jones. Firstly it's furniture, clothing, then it's exotic pets, cars, extensions, holidays, cosmetic surgery... meanwhile their children are forgotten and run wild and their husbands work 24 hours a day to pay the bills... finally Mrs GJ actually commissions a white elephant while Mrs JJ builds an ivory tower*. Not surprisingly it ends in disaster.
*Actually made out of marble, so it's not all bad.

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ASIN: B0GGXTQQXV  (The 0 is a zero)