I have recently been finding it very hard to feel hopeful about being a writer in this current climate. All of my middle grade novels have suddenly gone out of print, as the publisher, Catnip has folded. I feel particularly sad about this as I am proud of those stories. I was so grateful they were published and I found during school visits that children responded very well to them. I am also sad as I feel they are all still sadly very relevant and have something to say about today's world - 'Girl with a White Dog' linked today with 1930's Germany, and was my first published book, shortlisted for 'The Waterstones Children's Book Prize' and 'The Little Rebels Award' and nominated for The Carnegie. 'Across the Divide' was also shortlisted for 'The Little Rebels Award' and is a time slip story set in Lindisfarne, dealing with the idea of Patriotism, Pacifism and propaganda, and trying to do the right thing now, and during World War One. "Dog Ears' is about child carers, who are, shockingly and sadly, still being used to prop up a failing social care system. I am trying to just be philosophical and be grateful they were ever published and read, and hope that those children who did read them, got something from them. I am very happy that I received lovely feedback from readers, but I do feel sad. I suddenly worried that doors were closing all over the place. The world is full of terrible things at the moment, so I tried to put things in perspective, but this is my employment - writing has been my full time job for a good number of years now, and before that I had years out of paid work caring for elderly parents, and I am 60, and I worried about work drying up and my ability to get work doing anything else.
However, I have been praying, and I decided to get out my old copy of 'The Artists Way' by Julia Cameron and work through it for a fourth time since the year 2000, to try to get back some creative confidence, and I am finding it really helpful. Already, things she describes as synchronicities are happening, and even though I am only on Week Two, I am already feeling more energised and hopeful.
I don't normally share online about things going wrong with my writing, but yesterday I shared about my worries and about my books suddenly going out of print on a WhatsApp forum for writers', and I am so glad I did. I feel now that I am not alone, that other writers I admire and respect experience this and understand the sadness, and I have had great encouragement about my writing, and plans to teach Creative Writing, and I just feel better. I would love it if a publisher took on these books which no longer have a home, but I also feel more optimistic about writing more, and getting more published, and I know I am lucky that in a very difficult publishing environment I do have agents who believe in me and will do their best to make that happen.
I just wanted to share that doing 'The Artist's Way' has been very helpful already, and sharing with other writers really has helped. I hesitated to share things going wrong, because I was told years ago to keep that to myself, and that publishers don't like the whiff of failure, but having books I am proud of go out of print after years is not failure - it's part of the life of a writer -and feeling sad alone is very bad for confidence. I shared in a private writers' forum, which is confidential, and I have met some of the writers in person, and only received kindness and empathy and practical advice and encouragement, and I want to pass that hope on to any other writer having setbacks, so decided to share here too.
5 comments:
I'm very glad that you've found support right now, Anne, because discovering that your books are going out of print - and when you've done all you can to promote them - is a very tough blow. No wonder you are mourning the stories, not so much for the physical object, but for all the characters and incidents and ideas you put on the page and now feel unseen and unheard.
Thank you for sharing all this with the readers of this blog - and you've made me think about giving The Artists Way another try.
I share your sadness about books being out of print, books you know children liked. I wish I could offer something more than these few words... but I'm glad you wrote your post. It offered me some comfort.
Thank you for your kind words, and sorry you have also experienced this. I am really glad you found the post offered you comfort.
Thank you Penny. I definitely recommend 'The Artist's Way' - it is really helping me!
I'm glad you've found Julia Cameron's book helpful. Unfortunately, there are a lot of us in a similar position! But on we go.
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