Tuesday 2 July 2024

A Party Political Message on behalf of the King (James) Party - transcribed by Master Steve Way

This is a Party Political message on behalf of King James, the first of that name in England, and the sixth of Scotland.

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Waifs, strays, peasants, yeomen, ostlers, serfs and even Lords (formerly Thanes in Scotland). We know you don’t have a vote – goodness how would ordinary folk such as yourselves handle such responsibility? You might just as well give women the vote and where would we be then? It would be worse than them attending theatre productions or even acting female roles! – but to allay any corrupt and treasonous thoughts about having a say in your lives we offer you this message on behalf of our wondrous monarch.

Firstly, we wish to direct you towards the edifying play currently on show by The King’s Men at The Globe Theatre and penned by our gifted crafter of dramatical productions, Master William Shakespeare, entitled The Tragedy of Macbeth. Master Shakespeare’s fine creation clearly illustrates the fate of those who wish to usurp the place of a ruler, such as ours, divinely chosen to rule our nation without obstruction, criticism or rebellion.

Many of you may have thought it unfair that our noble king should have absolute power over us, believing this to be a luxury no mortal man should enjoy. In another of his edifying pieces, The History of Henry IV (the second part) our master playwright tells us ‘uneasy lies the head that wears the crown’. Masterfully illustrated as always. True it would make sense for King James to remove it before he retires to bed, but who are to question God’s chosen earthly representative?

As Master Shakespeare illustrates in his Scottish tragedy, and expresses far more adeptly than this humble scribe, the assassination of a king, a vile act in itself, is like to cause disasters natural in abundance such as day becoming night, owls killing falcons and horses turning wild and eating each other. Even should you have lived for three score years and ten you surely would never have seen such horrors or wished to impose your will upon your fellows by opposing our great leader.

Let’s be frank, the majority of you are, if not swollen and ulcerous, most certainly pitiful to the eye. Know ye not that due to the healing benediction passed down to him through the royal succession, he has the power to touch the ill and cure them? It’s true he doesn’t seem to do that very often, or at all in fact, but who are we to dare to question our gracious majesty? With his skill for irony the great bard has his main character tell the king that all he should expect of us is ‘to receive our duties’ before the fiend turns to treachery. Treachery that is rightly doomed!

So fellow servants of our Gracious Monarch, this July month forget not that the idea of having a vote is pointless and certainly not worth fighting for, striving for or taking seriously.

God save the King!


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