INTO THE WOODS, PERHAPS By Penny Dolan

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A new month arrives. 

A day for action.

I look out of the window, reading today's weather.

I check nothing is happening: no visiting neighbours or urgent deliveries arriving.

Put on comfortable-enough clothes. Find small something to eat.

Manage mini-tasks: feed hungry cat, respond to an urgent email.

Ready?  Now?

Put on determined face, seize the moment and GO!

 

Down the first bit of the familiar path, avoiding those awkward glitches and gaps. 

Come to a junction. Mull over the best direction. 

That way is easier, but the other way is more intriguing.  

Choose. Proceed.

 

I'm doing this so awkwardly. Annoyingly aware of how long it is since last time.

Why oh why do I let myself get distracted?

 

Slow down, speed up, try out the pace. Going a bit too quickly now. 

Forgetting a known route. Feel uncomfortable.

Do I even know what I'm doing?  Will this work out?

Gradually, settle into it. A manageable speed.

Enough time to look around a bit, sense the open space I'm in and the clearer view of the route ahead.

Feel myself, both body and mind, relaxing into the task, getting back into my rhythm again.  

 Glad to be doing this, focusing on my own energy, on covering just that important bit of ground ahead.

Thankful.

All at once, a pause. And an interruption. 

As I cross to the next section,  I notice others on the path. 

A plodder or two like me, still going. And a few friendly faces, waving, perhaps. 

But, oh no,  here come Someone, pounding along in all the right, bright kit, doing it right.

I can't help but notice that they're totally dominating the path. 

I step aside, wait, focus on a patch of daisies or a bouncy dog instead. La la la.

Now I feel stupid, presumptuous, as if I should give this whole wretched idea up. 

 I mutter cross, rude words - at myself mostly. 

 

"Come on," says a little voice in my head, at last. 

"You know you usually feel like this. Just let it go. Just let it go."

So I choose.

 I choose that today I will carry on. Keep going.

Brilliant sky-scapes might appear. Interesting views might show themselves.

 Besides, look at how far I've made it this time. 

 

Be happy for now. Do what's there to be done.

Onwards. On my way. 

 

Penny Dolan

@pennydolan1