Thursday 2 January 2020

Nutty New Year Resolutions by Steve Way

I’ve realised as I begin this blog that by having the 2nd of the month as my allotted day for contributing to our wonderful blog experiment that I get the chance to be one of the first to wish you all a Happy New Year! May it be a prosperous, productive and well published year for you all!

A technique I use when I visit schools to facilitate creative writing workshops is to begin a session with a ‘get the pen moving’ exercise. I think all writers, including children, find a blank page intimidating and so the idea is to help them get their creative juices flowing and a few words on the page before embarking on more ambitious work. A bit like warm up exercise at the gym. This time of year, I use a list of daft resolutions that I claim to have made and then the children are asked to make two or three of their own. So, in case you might find them useful in a similar context please find below my ‘Nutty New Year Resolutions’.  You might not be surprised to learn that the children often particularly respond to resolutions three and four – and sometimes need a moment or two to think about some of the later more surreal ideas!

1.  I won't Sellotape my Dad to the chair while he's asleep anymore.

2.  I won't play at being an orang-utan anywhere near Mum's breakable vases anymore.

3. I will stop picking everyone else's nose and will only pick my own from now on.

4.  I won't wash my hair in the toilet anymore as it seems to upset my Mum for some reason. 

5.  I won't paint the stair carpet a lovely orange colour again. 

6.  I won't eat 16 bowls of jelly all at the same time again... ugh...

7. I will stop running up and down the street, dressed as as a shop, shouting, "Mind out for all the purple elephants!"

8.  I won't spread jam all over the dog anymore.

9.  I will stop suddenly turning into an enormous cabbage in P.E. because it frightens all the other children. 

10.  I will never drop an elephant on Grannie again while she's sleeping, even though it is very funny. 

11.  I will stop being me and will be the man three houses down with the green car. 

12.  I will only have eleven New Year’s Resolutions this year. 

13.  I will say "Tortoise" to people every time I meet them instead of "Hello" because it would be such a stupid thing to do.  

Have a great 2020! 

Recent publications;

The Gobulins and the Globulins. ‘William’s nephew’ discovers that he inherits more than a cottage from his uncle. 

Spy by accident. He doesn’t know it but Simon’s mum is a spy. Unwittingly he becomes dangerously embroiled in her world.


Susan Price said...

You inspire me, Steve. I now firmly resolve to stop secretly growing my vegetables in the gardens across the road, because tunnelling over there to harvest them is so time-consuming.

Steve Way said...

That sounds like a good resolution Susan... good luck with the tomatoes!