Boy’s fall in love too, y’
know.
I wrote a book – Kook - about a boy and girl. They fall in love; with surfing, with the
sea, with each other. They go to
dangerous places. They go too far, too
soon.
That’s it in a nutshell. A love story.
Sort of.
'A gripping and heartbreaking story of love and obsesssion.' The Guardian.
It’s not gushy, or overly
emotional. It doesn’t even resemble a ‘romance.’ It’s about danger and thrills as much as it’s
about the bond between wannabe surfer, Sam and beautiful, damaged Jade. So you’d think it’s a book that isn’t ‘for’
boys or girls, but, like any book, can and should be read by both.
But, here’s the
thing. At time of writing, on Goodreads,
just over 95% of Kook’s readers are
female. Yup. That’s right. Only one in twenty of my readers are dudes.
That’s what happens when
you put love at the core of your YA book.
*Sigh* I’m not really complaining.
(Girl readers: I love that
you’re reading Kook, I love that you
get it), but it does feel a little
imbalanced. Because boys are – obviously – half of the equation in books with hetero
relationships at the centre. But how
much YA focuses on the girl, or is told from the girl’s POV. A lot of it. Most of it. And who reads
it? Mostly girls too.
All this gets me
wondering: wouldn’t it be great if we had more YA, with love in it, but from
the guy’s perspective, and if we had more guys reading it too?
Weirdly, reading about
love, is something of a taboo for guys. Take
note: Exploring love as a theme, doesn’t automatically
make the book a ‘romance.’ But my guess is, a lot of boys think it does.
Perhaps this is something
to do with the nature of the stories that dominate, of which, more below. For
now: Let’s just be clear. Boys do fall in love. Every bit as much as girls. And in the teen
years, the heart gets just as much stimulation as, ahem, other organs. Boys too, get, confused, excited, broken,
high-on-attraction, dizzy and blinded. By love.
BUT, boys are still
emotionally stilted about the whole thing. And sometimes they have difficulty
reading, or even talking about it.
There’s this narrative boys
live by, half way between new-man-sensitive and old school be-a-dude ways of
thinking. Which is where I think a lot
of boys are stuck, right now. It runs something
like this:
Cry if you have to; its good to have strong emotions (but only if you really
have to and actually, as we’re on the subject, really don’t, unless it is in extreme
circumstances such as an actual death). Fall in love, sure (but not as much as,
or in the way that, girls do). Express
your feelings (a little but, don’t really
talk about this stuff !!)
Here’s how you should respond to any emotional turmoil resulting from
interaction with the other half of our species:
Man up. Drink up. Watch some porn. Go surfing/skating/shooting pool.
Because that’s living. Not
moping or crooning. Get over it, and yourself.
And I’ve heard this stuff a
lot – and worse.
This outdated narrative still
runs. And it’s a brave guy that speaks out against it. If you want to make
yourself a world-class target for piss taking, wax lyrical to your mates about how
much you love your girlfriend. I dare
you.
As I say, mostly it’s
girls who read this stuff. Maybe that won’t change, maybe it will. If it doesn’t, hopefully Kook, and other love/boys’ POV book do
something useful for girls, at least.
Because they know they fall in
love, and I know (because I’ve been told a bunch of times), part of what drives
girls to read Kook, is curiousity. Along the lines of: ‘I fall in love…, but what’s it like for the guy?’
So YA has a job to do, for
both sexes, all genders and all types of sexuality. There seems to be lot out there, if you’re a
girl, or gay or transgender, but maybe not enough that will help young men
comes to terms with their sexuality. Like
any literature, it has a task to explore the stuff under the surface, stuff we
may even be uncomfortable with. We need to talk about love and all the mess
that comes with it. We need to tell
stories that show a different narrative to the one described above.
3 comments:
Great post! As Bjork put it: 'I'm so bored with cowards, That say they want, Then they can't handle, You can't handle love...'
'We need to talk about love...' - a fine title!
Thanks Susan and Sue. I really feel that it's - reasonably - unexplored territory. Boys read less, which means books 'for' them or which deal with their inner (and love) lives, are thin on the ground, which means they read less... and so on. To point out the bleeding obvious: YA can really help young people grow and adapt,if it reflects what young people go through.
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