The email popped into my inbox in the middle of a snowstorm.
TOP SECRET: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL it said.
Normally when I get that kind of email it's someone inviting me to participate in some surefire scam scheme to make loads of money - as long as I can provide the anonymous sender with tens of thousands of pounds in a sealed brown envelope. This one wasn't like that.
"Could you come on Blue Peter and talk about the books on our brand new feature of Best Books of the Last Ten Years?" it said. Well, you don't get an invitation like that every day. So I said yes to the very nice lady. Then I started to panic. I'm not a natural TV performer. I tend to either babble or go totally blank when asked questions I'm not prepared for. I turn bright red when hot (TV lights are hot). Nyyarrrrghhh! What had I done? But of course I couldn't back out - things were in train, film crew had been booked, the director wanted to know which books on the (at that time embargoed) list I'd read, and (thrown in quite casually) whether I could read the whole list in a week. That sort of thing.
At first we were going to film in London, but dates were tight, and they decided to come to my house instead. More panic. Where would we film? Which room was big enough? Should I spring-clean the aspidistra? Meanwhile, I was reading my eyes out - reminding myself of some things, and discovering others for the first time. Needless to say, in the end, the books I was supposed to talk about most were the ones I hadn't read before (mostly because they were boy thrillers, and that's not my usual reading matter - Charlie Higson's
Silverfin, Anthony Horowitz's
Skeleton Key and John Grisham's
Theodore Boone). With the exception of the Grisham, I enjoyed them immensely - which will teach me not to prejudge.
Being me (if I do a job, I do it properly), I made copious notes, read things twice, underlined quotes. If I was well prepared, I couldn't go far wrong, I thought. It was a LOT of work. On the morning itself, I scurried around (dusting the aspidistra for the fifty-fourth time), laid the table (well, they'd want feeding, wouldn't they?), panicked about what to wear (discarded outfits everywhere), poked a mascara wand into my eye (makeup not my forte). I also spent some considerable time talking out loud to the dogs about books in the interests of not being terrified of the sound of my own voice (they were puzzled, but quite interested). Then there was a crunch of tyres. My Fate was upon me
Naturally, I need not have dusted. Nor chosen a nice light room. Nope. What they wanted was somewhere cosy and dark, with not a scrap of daylight. A studio, in fact. Luckily I have shutters. And curtains. While the very professional and charming Patrick and Rob were unpacking lights and cameras and setting up the Blue Peter backdrop in the gloom, I hung about, taking photos and asking all sorts of intrusive questions (well, that's what writers do, isn't it). Then the Moment of Filming arrived.
I sat in the Talking Head Chair, shaking slightly, mind entirely blank. I had to sit on my hands (hands waving = not good TV). One camera was in front of me (I had to remember not to look at it), the other to the side for close up shots (oh God! My wrinkles would show!). Suffice to say, I babbled a bit. I froze often. They were extremely lovely and patient with me. It all took a long time (about 1 1/2 hours of actual filming). Then they packed up and left (after a bit of soothing soup).
All that, and I was only on for about 3 seconds! I'm quite relieved really - the truth is, I'm not sure TV stardom is beckoning me to the golden heights any time soon. But hey! At least I get a Blue Peter badge! That's pretty cool, isn't it?
If you like, you can watch the clip here till tomorrow - Thursday 23rd Feb (UK readers only, I'm afraid). I'm on at 20m 15s. But, honestly, blink and you miss me!
16 comments:
I sympathise madly! It made me wonder what happened to the documentary in which I appear for about one second and which took most of an afternoon to film! (And nobody offered me soothing soup!)
It'll be in an archive somewhere, Cat. Nothing ever gets thrown away now. Did you record it? As for the soothing soup - it was me rushing about with a ladle!
Well done, that woman!
Excellent stuff. I stay well clear of TV/radio - and will for as long as I can get away with it.
Well done, Lucy - but what a lot of work for a little clip! Interesting to know the work that goes in behind what you see on screen...
Interesting that BP's idea of 'Best' coincides so precisely with comercial success. Wouldn't it be refreshing if the mainstream mediia had a feature called the 10 books you've never heard of but are all better than this list? No matter. Well done, Lucy! You played a total blinder and you've got the badge! So jealous of that. And you didin't even have to climb a mountain or make anything involving stickyback plastic.
Thanks, Joan and Anne. And yes, Sue, that's what I found so astonishing. No wonder making actual films is so expensive.
I wish that too, Celia, and made that very point to the producers in a quiet way. Thank God there was no sticky back plastic involved otherwise a serious disaster would have occurred. It always gets into a sort of mummified tangle if I go anywhere near it!
A Blue Peter badge is the height of cool! I won mine at the age of six and still treasure it. And the wippitts have one each too which I treasure on their behalf.
But you looked so cool and composed on the camera - as if you'd been doing this all your life!
Well done, Lucy! I agree with Linda, you do look so composed and relaxed. A long time ago in a different lifetime, I was filmed by the BBC for a documentary on young business people - I was a Batik Artist! They spent hours at my house for a few minutes of film. I steer clear of the camera now!
Good to see your clip up there, Lucy, among the great and good offering their comments. You looked totally in control - so well done.
However, I very much agree with Celia's comments, and the fact that so many titles seemed to rely on some kind of screen presence (even if indirectly) to confirm their great "favourite-ness".
Also noticed that the Blue Peter presenter discussion & promotion at the start of programme moved from a "read this" concept to a "seen this" concept in less than an eye-blink. (But liked the daft song!)
Oh fabulous!!! So glad you got through the ordeal. My 10 year old daughter has just said... "What? Lucy Coates was on Blue Peter?" and has watched the clip with me! And you were brilliant too!
Didn't I say you'd be brilliant?! I love having famous friends :)
I don't believe you even have an aspidistra.
Sounds fascinating and STRESSFUL!! But hooray for you :))
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