Stopping to Smell the Flowers - by Ciaran Murtagh

One of the things about being a freelancer is the constant pressure to provide. You're never 100% sure where the next cheque is coming from so you say yes to everything. 

For me, this started young. I had my first child while I was at school and so my entire working life I've always had to have one eye on the bank balance. 

It's all well and good choosing to live a precarious freelance existence - certainly in the creative industries -  but it's quite another to bring a baby along for the ride. It meant I said yes to just about everything, regardless of whether it was a good career move or something I necessarily wanted to do. If it paid, I did it. 

That baby is now approaching 27, but my approach to work hasn't mellowed much. 

When the pandemic struck I felt the fear just about everyone in the country felt. However, for the freelancer it was tinged with the regular worry of - what if I never work again? I threw myself into work, saying yes to just about anything, and I am only now coming out of that frantic period. 

Last year I head wrote, with my writing partner, five new series of television. That's about 200 episodes - I was responsible for delivering and writing. I also wrote on other people's shows. Totting it all up Andrew and I wrote or were responsible for about 225 episodes of TV. One a day. 

I also had three books out last month and another one out next, so I was doing that too. 

This month things have calmed down a bit, after the year or two I've had, it feels like I've gone from 90 miles an hour to a more sedate 45. I can take time to smell the flowers. 

However, it doesn't stop me feeling like I should be working harder. It's hard to adjust to a new pace like that. It feels like someone has literally pulled the handbrake. Now the logical part of me is telling me it's healthy, you can't work at that rate forever, you'll burn out.  But that nagging irrational bit of my brain is worrying again - what if the phone never rings, what if this is it, better get hustling Ciaran. 

For now I'm doing my best to ignore it, and to be honest that voice can be a useful thing, it stops me sitting on my arse for extended periods, but the truth is it'd be nice to turn it off completely every once in a while. I'd like to enjoy a guilt free holiday without wondering what I'm missing, I'd like to sit and look out the window without beating myself up over the book I'm not writing or the idea I'm not developing. 

I'm not sure that's ever going to happen, I'm the wrong sort of person in the wrong type of industry to allow that to happen, but strategies to dampen it down would be useful. 

So come on creative freelancers -  how do you deal with the guilt of not creating every moment of the day and stopping to smell the flowers?

In other news, I am taking part in Book Jive Live this month - it's a great opportunity to hear new voices and also ask me any questions you may have about any of the creative industries I participate in. Even better - all profits go to the Booktrust. Get your tickets here:

https://www.wegottickets.com/event/532457

Who shall I be today? : Linda Strachan

For me writing involves getting inside my characters almost in the way you might pull on a costume.Getting right inside their head and going through the emotions as they feel them, which is exhausting at times but it is such an important part of it that there are times I find myself wondering if I really want to dive right in there.





It is a little like going into the sea when you are not sure if the
water is perhaps just a bit too cold. The tentative dipping in of a toe, or just letting the water wash around your ankles until you feel brave enough to totally immerse yourself into the brisk, fresh sensation.

I started off writing books for quite young children, mostly warm and cuddly or just fun stories where at the worst the child, animal or childish character might become a little concerned, perhaps scared by the dark or be upset by being lost, but it quickly turns out well and happy.

I had avoided writing for teenagers for a long while, I think because the
thought of revisiting the angst of being a teenager never really appealed and I was worried because I wasn’t sure if I could, or would want to, relive the experience even from a character’s point of view.
I wonder if other writers feel the same and are wary of the emotional rollercoaster that their character might take them on? I now find myself writing rather dark books for teenagers, dipping into their most difficult times and giving my characters a truly hard time.

I think I am quite an upbeat and happy person normally, so where does that come from?

When I go into schools I often have the strange experience that in the morning I might be speaking to tiny nursery children, with lots of fun and cuddly toys as props, or slightly older ones with Hamish McHaggis and friends.




In the afternoon I might be facing a room full of young adults talking about the harshest things in life, death, injury, knives, blood and impossible decisions.


I have to admit that I enjoy the variety and challenge and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It is one of the things I love about what I do and it makes my life so varied – it never gets dull - just a bit hectic at times!


So whether it is sitting at my desk about to start writing or preparing for an author visit I find myself asking the question – Who shall I be today?



Linda's website is at www.lindastrachan.com