And They Call It...Puppy Love - Eve Ainsworth

I mentioned on my last blog that my next post might have a doggy bias. I’m afraid my prophecy was correct. But hey, don’t be too hard on me. My last few weeks have been puppy obsessed – I’ve barely been able to focus on anything else – so what else can you expect. Having a puppy really is like having another baby – expect this one is likely to nip every part of you and chew up your socks.

But I’ve nagged my husband for this dog for 10 years, so I can hardly complain, can I? I have also justified it by saying a dog is good for my writing. These are my strong (yeah, right!) arguments:

• ·      A dog means walks. Which means lots and lots of thinking of time. Lots of plotting, lots of character development. My brain will be bursting with ideas.
• ·      Walks mean people. I get to meet lots of other people getting on with their business. Interestingly, dog walking means meeting the same people at the same time – also great for character development etc. And:
• ·      Meeting people stops me being a little hermit rotting away at my desk, which also:
• ·      Stops me eating ALL THE JAFFA CAKES
• ·      Also, having to look after a puppy is all about structure - certain times to take him out for exercise, training, toilet etc, so I have to fit in my writing accordingly. I seem to write better when I have to fit my writing into time slots (I am a sadist, obviously)
• ·      I get to take lots of puppy pictures and post them on Instagram. I like to think this is boosting my presence online. OK, I’m kidding myself – I just like taking pictures of my cute dog.
• ·      When I get a bad review/tough edits/writers’ block (delete as appropriate) I now have a puppy to snuggle to make me feel better.
• ·      I have an excuse to look bedraggled, un-made-up, and tired due to lack of sleep and early morning alarm calls (otherwise known as barking…).
• ·      I have someone to talk to, other than the biscuit tin.
• 
  

Anyone want a puppy picture to motivate them today? Go on then, you twisted my arm

Have a great day

Eve and Woody xx

Purges and Puppies - Eve Ainsworth

August has become the month for purging.

You have to picture the scene to appreciate what I mean. Summer holidays have truly settled in here. Two young children have made their presence fully known. My house is full of discarded paper, pens, books, pencil sharpenings, loom bands and small, painful pieces of lego. My garden has an optimistic paddling pool planted in the middle of it, currently collecting rainwater (I’m expecting a duck to take up residence at any moment) and two sticky siblings are arguing over whose turn it is to use the swing.

Most days I am the complete opposite of the model mum that you see on TV (seriously – does she exist?). I burn the cakes that I bake with my children (although we still have fun making them). I forget the raincoats on walks in the woods (so we end up singing in the rain) and I forget to put the lid back on the glue sticks, so creative play can be hit and miss. I am however – great at separating warring children and quite good at making up long, crazy stories that my children find quite amusing.

But the house suffers in August. Actually it looks like a train wreck.

Added to this, a few days ago I got the email I was dreading. My edits for book three had arrived. I almost couldn’t bring myself to open the email. But as there was a short break in “she had it FIRST” disagreements, I allowed myself to take the plunge.

As I scrolled through the first three pages of highlighted red text my tummy sunk. The arguing had also resumed. I clicked out of the email again and turned my computer off. It could wait.

August is not a good month.

Maybe the editing could wait? I wondered wildly if my editor would allow me to have an extension. Would a year be enough?

I decided instead to distract myself. It was a miserable day outside.  If the house could talk it would be begging for therapy. Action was required. A purge was needed.

It’s always satisfying when you do something with added energy. To actively give away/throw away stuff we no longer needed was very fulfilling. Even the kids got involved, motivated by the fact that we had a new puppy arriving in a few weeks and we needed to make things safe for him. We spent ages clearing out, re-arranging and sorting.

Within hours the house looked so much better – newer, fresher, brighter.

Later still. I opened my dreaded email again. I re-read my document and it honestly didn’t look as bad. This was just another purge. Another clean up. It was more removal of bits I didn’t need and a tidy up the ones I would be keeping. Ok, it would be extra work – but my book would be so much better for it.

The anticipating of editing is the same for me as a big cleaning project. I always dread it, I consider putting it off, I delay and complain – and yet, once I get into it I’m fine. And the after effect is always the same. Satisfaction. A sense of achievement and a clearer mind.

And next I can prepare for the arrival of Woody to our little family. Expect my next blog post to be on the ‘joy of writing whilst puppy training…..’

Driving Myself MAD - by Eve Ainsworth

 

I’m currently learning to drive. God help the human race.

I’m doing this for a number of reasons:

 

• I need to be more independent and able to get to places in the middle of nowhere without relying on the goodwill of others.

• I want to be able to take my kids to places that I can’t at the moment.
• I want to be able to do some school visits without having to rely on three trains, a tram and a taxi ride.
• I hate buses.

The fourth point was reinforced when a bus driver kindly pulled in to the bus stop, and then immediately pulled out again, despite the fact I was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM, leaving me and two kids stranded into torrential rain. I decided at that moment enough was enough and I needed to get my act together and learn to drive.

To be honest, I’m not very good at it. I’m obviously not a natural born diver. But going through the motions has made me realise that there are some similarities between driving and trying to write a new book:

• At first everything is overwhelming. You look around your new car/blank page and you haven’t got a clue where to begin. It’s scary. You wonder why the hell you’re doing this.
• You start. You stutter. The gears stall/your keys clunk. You keep messing up. You feel rubbish. You stall at a major roundabout or freeze during a manoeuvre in a busy street. Meanwhile as a writer you are stalling at chapter three, looking grimly at your work – you can’t remember how to write a sentence. You hate it all. You delete six pages.
• You see everyone else driving much faster and better than you, you feel inferior and inexperienced and stuck in the slow lane. Other ‘not so nice’ drivers flash and overtake you. You wonder why you are doing this at all. As a writer, you see others get their books published/win awards/ get new deals – they all seem to be doing better than you, and you worry that you’re not good enough.
• Other people will start to tell you how you should drive your car better, how you should ‘do your test now’ and ‘just get on with it’. Other people will question why it is taking you so long to learn in the first place. They will ask why they haven’t seen you out on the road yet and make you feel cross.  As a writer, the other people will also question you – they will ask you why you ‘only write children’s books’ and tell you of ways that you can make more money. They will ask why they haven’t seen your book in their bookshop and make you feel cross.
• As you drive a bit more, your confidence lifts a little, but then you make a big mistake - you pull out in front of another driver and it shakes and you want to give up. As a writer your confidence grows a little whilst writing and then you hit a block. You can’t find your way round it and it shakes you. You want to give up.
• You finally put in for a test. You fail. You finally submit your novel. You’re rejected.
• After lots of tears, sleepless nights and biscuit consumption – you pass your test. You feel happy, overwhelmed and shocked. You suffer imposter syndrome. After lots of tears, sleepless nights and biscuit consumption your book is accepted. You feel happy overwhelmed and shocked. You suffer imposter syndrome.
• You continue writing/driving with mixture of excitement and anticipation. Glad you did it, but well aware to avoid any pot holes that might be awaiting you.

Can I just add that I haven’t actually passed my test yet, I’m just imagining what it feels like!

Does anyone else agree with this analogy?

 

 

Eve Ainsworth is the author of Crush and 7 Days (Scholastic)  7 Days was nominated for the 2015/16 Carnegie Medal and was winner of the Dudley Teen Prize and FAB Books Prize 2016

What I Know Now - Eve Ainsworth

It seems like such a long time ago when Seven Days was a finished manuscript sitting in front of an editor in a major publishing house. Surely it was a lifetime ago when I was offered my two book deal, accepting it in a state of shock whilst walking the kids back from school? I remember feeling so weird, so shocked that my dream was going to come true. A dream I'd had since I was five years old.

And now I'm here. 7 Days has been published and it's cover still shines at me from my bookcase. I'm so proud, I'm dazed and I still feel so shocked that my dream has come true. But there are some other things I've realised about being published, things that I'd never realised pre-deal.

These are things I wish I'd known in advance.

1) Checking the Amazon ranking is not good for you. The numbers go up and down and all over the place, hence it sends your brain in a whirl. It's best to avoid.

2) The same goes with Goodreads. Great site, but possibly not ideal when you're feeling fragile.

3) Realising that the big book stores may not stock you, or only some might. You might face the disappointment of walking in a local bookshop and uttering the words "have you got....?" The dream of having your book EVERYWHERE is quickly dashed.

4) Comparing yourself to other authors is bad, bad, bad. Float in your own safe bubble and try not to fret about who is going where or doing what.

5) Putting up with to people asking you how well your book is doing and not really having a clue.

6) Having to get used to various addictions as you keep yourself busy on social networks. I currently munch Jelly Beans whilst trailing through Twitter - my waistband is expanding so quickly, three people have asked me 'when's it due?'

7) Having to get used to fluctuating mood swings - euphoria, calm, worry and panic (ok, this might just be me...)

8) Having a bad back, arms and neck (see my last ABBA post)

But what I've also realised is that the writing community is wonderfully supportive. People appreciate what you are going through and will help you through any difficult period, even if it's just a jelly bean shortage.

I've also realised that I need to remind myself constantly how bloody lucky I am to be here. I wish for it to continue.