Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes. Phases, Doctor Who and the Gender Recognition Act

As I write this, today is the deadline for people to submit their responses to the UK Gender Recognition Act consultation (it will have passed by the time you're reading this) and news has just broken of the Trump administration's musings around the possibility of eradicating trans identities. There is always a lot of Twitter ‘discussion’ (to put it politely) around Trans issues but lately the noise has reached maddening levels. Pretty tough if you’re just a normal Trans person trying to go about your ordinary cat-meme youtube-recipe life. That’s not me, by the way, I am cisgender, but I'm interested in, and disturbed by, the current struggle for Trans equality and the escalation of the oppression of my Transgender friends and family.

Also in the last few weeks the new Doctor Who series has started, and I have a vested interest in that too (politically speaking, the world needs Doctor Who right now. Tell me I’m wrong. Don’t, because I’m not) and for me it’s impossible not to conflate the righteous development of the Doctor with the march of Trans liberation (and actually the liberation of humanity in general). It’s about phases.

Lots of people tell Transgender kids that they’re ‘going through a phase’. Sometimes they hear it from family. Sometimes they hear it from social media. They hear it from teachers. They hear it from National newspapers, famous and beloved writers, popstars… It’s everywhere; this idea that whatever it is they’re going through is somehow trivial and not as meaningful as they think. 

I know what it is to go through a phase, as many of us do. I loved Bros when I was 14. Like, I really loved them. I’d stay awake at night and listen to the Bros Front fan cassette on my personal stereo over and over. I drew pictures of them. I wore the lager bottle caps on my shoes. I delighted in Matt’s impersonation of Stevie Wonder on the Des O’Connor show. I mourned Craig. I was in it for life. It lasted for two years. 

I want to say something about phases though, because ‘phase’ can mean a couple of different things. We use it a lot to mean ‘trend’ or something which passes quickly. We imagine that when the craze is over (like Lo Lo Balls. Remember those?) we will quickly return to our lives before the craze happened (albeit with a broken ankle if you had a Lo Lo Ball).

But ‘phase’ can also mean a transition. We talk about the phases of adolescence, or sometimes the government will ‘phase in’ a particular economic change. ‘Phase’ here meaning those periods which have certain stages in order to progress towards a particularly altered state. We all know that by the end of adolescence we are changed- we don’t return, thankfully, to how we were before the transition began. We don’t know exactly how we’ll turn out, what twists or turns there might be as we discover who we are, but we do know that one phase ends and another begins- that we don’t have a ‘reset’ button- life changes us and our human journey is one of changes which don’t really ever stop.

In Doctor Who the Doctor might have regenerated into a woman now, and people will remind us, ‘She is still the essential Doctor though’, and this might be true, but it will also be true that being a woman will change the Doctor. She will never not have been a woman again, if we can cope with the timey wimey grammar. It’s complicated, but that’s OK.

If you’re wondering what all this has to do with my writing, then I can tell you that it has everything to do with it. I spend a lot of time thinking about characters before I ever write down a note about them, and right now I have this little thought in my head- something, somebody, in a phase, changing… It’s probably going to be different to what I’ve written before. The essential author will still be there, though. But it will be a change and, I hope, a development.

I don’t know what it is about us humans that we resist the phases of our own and one another’s lives. Sometimes I think I do it more than others, but I’m trying to be more aware of the tendency. One of my favourite verses by William Blake is with me as I try to let things and people and myself move freely in and out of phases.

He who binds to himself a joy

Doth the winged life destroy

But he who kisses the joy as it flies

Lives in eternity’s sunrise

So I suppose I am writing in praise of phases today, whether in fictional characters or the people who make them up, or in our own characters or bodies, which change all the time. Maybe we can learn to embrace the changes. If not it is our loss really, because we know the changes will keep on happening. Play us out, St Bowie.

Notebook Nirvana - Lu Hersey

Practically any writing class – or creative writing handbook –  is going to tell you to make it your number one priority to always have a notebook with you. At all times. You never know when inspiration will strike (though having consulted with many fellow writers, that might be very inconveniently when you’re in the shower, or running for the bus….but you get the idea). Notebooks are, apparently, essential.

It’s true that almost all writers are obsessed with them. Many of us are total stationery nerds, spending happy hours staring at notebook cover designs and covetously feeling the paper inside. (texture is important. It might be a different kind of texture preference for each writer, but it’s important!)

Some writers change their notebook each year. Others have a different notebook for each book they write. Some prefer lined paper to keep it neat, and some, like me, choose plain pages so they can scribble and doodle and make a big mess. (David Almond is a fan of the plain page, so I’m in good company there.)

I was in the Henge shop at Avebury a while back with two writer friends – and it turned out they’d both bought the same notebook the year before. I felt a bit left out. And yes, I later ordered one in the same design. Here it is…

As it happens, this notebook didn’t work for me. The cover is wonderful, but the pages are lined. It’s hard to ignore lines, but I find it even harder to keep within them...so sadly, it’s still only part used.

A lot of writers go for the Moleskine - Hemingway’s favourite. It’s true it has handy pockets for tickets and memorabilia, all held in place with a strong elasticated band round the outside. You can choose your favourite size and colour (mostly red or black), and whether you want lined pages or not. Or a mix. They look great when shelved next to each other in a uniform collection. (shelving is another thing with writers, by the way. You can’t have enough bookshelves. Ever.) So all in all, the Moleskine sounds perfect, right?

For many writers, yes – but it’s the very ‘specialness’ of these (they’re quite expensive) that makes me too scared to write anything in them. It’s okay if you’re like William Blake and can keep the same notebook for twenty years by writing things very small, and being fastidious. But that’s not me.

Anyway, it got to a point where notebook experimentation meant I had so many notebooks, I didn’t know which one I was meant to be using for what. This confusion of notebooks meant I rarely wrote anything in any of them. Not having time to find the right one, I ended up almost always using my laptop.

Meanwhile my room was littered with notebooks. One for recording dreams, one each for all my different book ideas, and separate notebooks for personal experience. Many of them are not even half full - some even less.

The tip of my notebook iceberg

Then something wonderful happened. Paul Magrs, novel writer and creative workshop leader, was asking for readers to give him feedback on a new creative writing handbook he’d written. I seized the opportunity, and offered to be a read The Novel Within You. (Hopefully this will be published very soon as it’s EXCELLENT!  A wonderful mix of funny anecdotes, autobiography and extremely useful tips and ideas).

Anyway, one thing Paul recommends, which really stood out for me, is the idea of a  universal notebook. Write, draw, do what you like – but all in the SAME notebook – and make it cheap and practical so you’re not afraid to use it.

Brilliant! Even before I’d finished reading the book, I found my ideal notebook in Wilkinsons. It’s cheap. It has a plastic cover, so I don’t have to worry about spilling stuff on it. It has a nice strong band to hold it together, so I can keep a pen tucked inside -  and it adapts well to the interior of my bag (it takes a hardy notebook to withstand this nightmare environment). Not only that, the pages are plain and just the right texture.

Notebook heaven.

I now write everything in one notebook, which is always with me. I don’t have to be self-conscious about it, as no one will see it. To do lists, shopping lists, book ideas, whole chapters, blog ideas, notes from the evening course I’m doing – everything! And I fill them (repeat – FILL THEM!) at regular intervals.

So if you’re suffering from fear of messing up your writing journal, take a leaf out of my notebook (sorry). Go for cheap and cheerful, and just don’t worry about what you write in it. It’s yours, no one else will see it, and you can write/scribble/draw whatever you like...

Lu Hersey
twitter: @LuWrites
Author page: Lu Hersey
Blog: Lu Writes
Current book: Deep Water