Something rather wonderful happened. Eventually.
I arrived
back from London
late one Friday, feeling adrift. I’d expected to be down in Wanstead for a week,
helping while someone was in hospital, However, just after noon on admission day, we heard the operation
was postponed. The theatre's air conditioning unit had failed, the hospital apologised, and couldn't be repaired,so it was too hot to operate safely just now. Please come back in
two weeks time.
Once the call was done, there were tears and
anger and disbelief, gradually eased by another viewing of the brilliant Big Knights dvd. By evening, a weary
pragmatism had set in. Our practice run had
gone well, hadn’t it, ha ha ha? See you back here again in two weeks time!
But
next day, once I got home again, I was feeling low – and then came the surprise. An email dropped into my
box. It was from a good writing friend, pointing out that I was now free to come on the untutored writing retreat starting on the Monday at
Moniack Mhor, near Inverness.
Much earlier
in 2017, I’d been interested in the retreat but, for more than one reason, the
week just hadn’t seemed possible. However, there was still one tiny room left, a room that couldn’t be
charged at full price, and I could have it, if I didn’t mind a certain tightness of space.
Go To Moniack? I was thrown.
I was uncertain. Yet, as was pointed out, my bags were still packed and I had cleared the week ahead of bookings. Besides, himself had made plans for while I was away. Overnight, the answer
came: If not, why not?
On
Sunday, I was at Edinburgh Waverley station. On Monday, my friend was driving me and two others up through the beautiful landscape to Moniack
Mhor 's Scottish Writing Centre. What bliss! The place had been a dream for years.
The room was quite tiny, with a single skylight above
the pillow. A notice named it as the Overnight Writing Tutor Room. I did feel a flicker of curiosity
about writing luminaries that had slept in that bed before pushing the thought away. I'd certainly be re-balancing that bedroom’s illustrious aura.
The untutored week meant that the time was completely my own, apart from meals. I made myself a discreet writing nest at the empty
table in the computer room downstairs, and there my cranky
laptop and I stayed, warmed by the printer fans. Bit by bit, and with the help of Document Map, I untangled
a long piece of work in progress. As I did so, I managed to feel some belief in my writing again, a
feeling that had been lost for a long time.
As the
week sped by, I started to feel very happy. I wrote with the sense of others working and
writing around me, but there were no workshops, no “performance”, no reading
out or deep discussion of words brought or done during the day.
The writers there did chat about work, but lightly and easily. They were lovely people, but few were interested in
writing for children. I felt blessedly anonymous, unworried by
all the anxieties that can rise among a group of peers. I had no responsibility for any running
of the week either, and that was wonderful. Moniack Mhor gave me what I most needed: uninterrupted
time, face to face with my writing.
There
were moments way from the laptop of course: short and longer strolls outside to look at
the views and landscape; musing-time in the cosy cob “hobbit house”; pleasant conversations with the interesting people there: the translators, historians, poets, writers of memoirs, short stories, novels and more. There was also much delicious food, and whisky, and a piping-in of the
haggis at the last supper too. Finally, each day ended with a memorable after-dinner
chat with two good writing friends, Linda Strachan and Susan Price, who were
there too. My
surprise week at Moniack Mhor was magically restorative, and I was so glad
that I’d responded to Linda's last minute suggestion.
All too soon, I was back at Waverley, catching the train to York. Today, back home again – for a
third time - I am trying to create my own sense of peace and
productivity here. Onward, with a metaphorical banner raised!
Furthermore, on my return from Moniack, after some hasty repacking of bags, I set off down
to London
again. This time, I’m delighted to report that, the big operation did happen, and
though some of it was (and still is) tough, all went well and successfully. All of
which means that a second hugely-wonderful thing happened, eventually, so I'd like to end this post by sending many thanks
to all the staff at St Thomas's Evelina Children’s Hospital, and a hooray to those bravely recovering.
Huge thanks, too, to the Society of Authors In Scotland who
arranged the Retreat, and to the staff and people at Moniack Mhor who made my surprise week
possible. You might enjoy seeing the other courses that Moniack Mhor runs, or the ones run at the various Arvon Centres.
Ps. The SoAiS/SoA are now taking weekend and day bookings for this coming September's SCOTSWrite
EVERYTHING A WRITER NEEDS Conference at Westerwood Hotel and Golf Resort near Glasgow. You’ll find more on exact dates and details here.
Penny Dolan
