Showing posts with label revision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label revision. Show all posts

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

Man Booker, BBC2 & Robert McKee: guiding lights for self-editors – by Rowena House

Last week, as I was explaining to a local writing group a selection of approaches to self-editing, I basically talked myself into a corner and reaffirmed (at least to myself) a truth about revision.

That is, after the big developmental overview, when you nail down that elusive concept of the “heart” or soul of the story, and decide, for example, whether you’ve got too many subplots or characters, the natural focus for re-writing is the scene.

Not voice, not sentences, not even structure as such. The scene.

From their expressions, I’m not sure I convinced my students, perhaps because the example I used of an ideal scene was old and rather lame, and taken from Robert McKee’s Story, which is brilliant in my opinion, but rather too rooted in black-and-white films to be self-evidently relevant to today’s novelist.

Then, later than week, cuddled up with our cat on the sofa, watching the BBC 2 drama, Effie Gray,  “Bingo!”

From now on, whenever I need to define an ideal scene it will be the climax to that story, with Derek Jacobi as a lawyer confronting the odious John Ruskin (played superbly by Greg Wise), preparing to bring his entire world crashing down with one word.

Before looking at that one word, and how the scene builds up to it, here’s some context from George Saunders, winner of this year’s Man Booker prize. He has been interviews all over the place, but these quotes come from this article in The Guardian:


In it he says, “We often discuss art this way: the artist had something he “wanted to express”, and then he just, you know … expressed it. We buy into some version of the intentional fallacy: the notion that art is about having a clear-cut intention and then confidently executing same. The actual process, in my experience, is much more mysterious and more of a pain in the ass to discuss truthfully ... An artist works outside the realm of strict logic. Simply knowing one’s intention and then executing it does not make good art.”

His self-editing method is a binary process, which he describes as a meter in his forehead flicking from positive to negative as he imagines how each passage he’s written will be received by a first-time reader, and then editing his work “so as to move the needle into the [positive] zone.”

He describes this process as repetitive, obsessive and iterative: “watch the needle, adjust the prose, watch the needle, adjust the prose … through (sometimes) hundreds of drafts. Like a cruise ship slowly turning, the story will start to alter course via those thousands of incremental adjustments … Falsehoods get squeezed out of it, lazy assertions stand up, naked and blushing, and rush out of the room.”

Beautiful prose, isn’t it? I’m really glad he won this year’s Man Booker prize, and I look forward very much to reading Lincoln in the Bardo over Christmas.

However…

What if you don’t have time to steer your ocean liner through a thousand incremental adjustments? What if you have a full-time job and/or a family to raise, and no milk in the fridge and a deadline to meet, and… and… and..?

In other words, what if writing isn’t your whole life?

For me, in the trackless oceans of imagination, structural advice books are star charts, and the solid possibilities of a well-crafted scene as essential as a life-raft.

So, back to Effie Gray … via Robert McKee.

If I had to keep just one book from my library of writing advice guides, McKee’s Story would be it. Despite his focus on film, the understanding he’s given me about storytelling is unequalled.

In a nutshell, what he says about scenes is this: every scene should build, beat by beat, to a Story Event, by which he means a meaningful change from positive to negative or vice versa in a fundamental human value (or a Story Value as he terms it).

Examples of changes in a Story Value include: cowardice to bravery, hope to despair, fear of commitment to commitment, happiness to sadness etc.

For McKee, such switches should be achieved by pitting a protagonist with a clear objective against an equal or more powerful force of antagonism with a diametrically opposed goal. Via progressively escalating confrontations, the scene should culminate in an unexpected pivot point that alters this Story Value for a central character.

All of which the climax scene in Effie Gray, written by Emma Thompson, does to perfection.

SPOILER ALERT: Do watch the film first if you want to experience the deliciousness of the denouement in full. It is available on iPlayer for the next few weeks. I’ve skipped over some elements of the plot for the sake of brevity, which does a disservice to the richness and complexity of the sub-text, but anyhow, here goes.

 

Events
Structural beats
Effie Gray’s lawyer gets out of a carriage and opens his legal document case. Earlier scenes have established Effie’s desire to escape from her unconsummated marriage with abusive & sexually-repressed John Ruskin.
The protagonist’s objective is established: to deliver a legal letter. In this scene, the lawyer is both Effie’s proxy and also a representative of Victorian social values & the law.
Inside the house, the interfering parents of self-satisfied grandee John Ruskin excessively admire a new portrait of him by an eminent pre-Raphaelite painter.
The antagonists’ objective are established: the Ruskin family seek to enhance John’s social standing via the portrait.
Servant George enters with news of an unexpected caller for John.
The inciting incident. An external force interrupts the domestic status quo.
Effie’s highly respectable male lawyer, kept waiting on the doorstep, announces he has a citation to court for John.  John’s parents stand between John and the lawyer.
The lawyer communicates his scene objective. The parents, by blocking the doorway, form a physical barrier between the lawyer & his objective.
John & his mother question the purpose of the citation; when the lawyer says it is a petition for divorce from Effie, the father snatches the letter.
A force of antagonism strikes directly back at the lawyer.
The lawyer insists the letter must, by law, be delivered to “the defendant”. The father reluctantly relinquishes the letter to the lawyer, who gives it to John. While taking it, John remains composed, and questions Effie’s grounds for divorce.
The protagonist’s proxy defeats the father’s desire to protect John by calling up the power of the law, i.e. society’s power over the family.  Effie wins round one, although John’s disdainful pride & self-confidence remain apparently intact.
When the lawyer refuses to answer John’s questions, citing the delicacy of the matter, John presses him for an immediate explanation, culminating in his demand for an answer. In response to this demand, the lawyer states that her grounds for divorce is John’s impotency. 
This beat of questions and rebuttals builds to the pivot point of both the scene and the entire story.
The word “impotency”, delivered in Derek Jacobi’s magnificent voice, challenges John’s manhood. Effie is calling down on him not only the full weight of the law, but also Victorian society’s expectations of a man and his sole duty to his wife. With one word, she has countered all of John’s malicious threats to ruin her reputation through false allegations of wantonness.
The horror of the impending scandal slowly dawns on the mother, but more quickly on the faces of John and his father. As their expressions turn from shock to comprehension to shame, the father shuts the door in the lawyer’s face.
John’s cold, imperious pride (his Story Value throughout the film) is quenched. Henceforth, he will be humiliated, while Effie’s Story Value switches from enslavement within their marriage to the freedom to live as she wishes and to love another. Well done, Effie! And well done to the film makers. A fantastic scene.

@HouseRowena
 
PS Publication date for The Goose Road  is now April 5th next year - after a brief shimmy to March!
 
 

                                     

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Exam Time: Season 7, starring Tracy Alexander

I work from home most of the time. And I am mostly alone. Except in exceptional circumstances such as . . . exam season. It is, to clarify, my seventh public exam season. During this period I take on extra roles including taxi driver, nutritionist, supply teacher and negotiator of virtual landmines. There have been moments when I’d have rather been sitting in an office, far from the hothouse of data cramming, but being around and available when your kids are stressed is, of course, one of the privileges of flexible working. And I embrace it.
Being truly seasoned, I have tips. They may not be useful, or practical, or wise.
(There are ten, because there are always ten for alliterative purposes.)

1 A dog is invaluable
Dogs do not give you helpful advice. Dogs do not whisper about your chances. Dogs do not read your predictions. Dogs do not care about your revision timetable. Dogs lick your face. Only dogs understand what teenagers are going through.
(Warning: Dogs are for life, not just for exams.)

2 Less is more
There is too much talking. Parents have done exams themselves. They know everything. They want to tell you. This is all white noise. Talk less.
(Unless you’re discussing meal-planning for the day after the last exam, when eating breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed in front of Netflix is obligatory. Then more is more and more and more . . .)
All the words you need:
I love you.
Do you want a lift?
Do you have a bottle of water?
Don’t forget to leave your phone outside the room.
I love you.

3 Actions
Actions speak louder, and more intelligibly, than words.
Deliver, wordlessly, a hot drink or a tasty treat, a hug, or a gift*

*A stress toy, chocolate, or the pig from Moana are all top gifts.
(A Revision Guide is less appealing, but preferable to the course text book thanks to its relative size.)

4 Food and drink
Stock up on an abundance of both, nutritious and not nutritious.
Sugar is bad because of that up and down thing, but sugar is good because it tastes nice and makes people happy.
Exam mornings require easy to swallow slop.
Water all students as though they’re hydrangeas. Adrenalin starves the body of water. Dehydrated brains don’t work as well.
(It’s important for the support worker to eat delicious treats, and make the most of the units the government allows us.)

5 Rest breaks
Rest breaks are intervals between revising. They may vary in length, from most of the day to half an hour. (Less than half an hour is punctuation.)
Call me old-fashioned, but a rest break should involve something other than a screen. See 6) Exercise.

6) Exercise
The dog is the perfect excuse to get the examinee out of the house. In the absence of a dog, walk to the take-away. Walk to the bakery and buy cakes. Walk to a friend’s house.
Use those apps everyone has that count your steps and make a random minimum target for exam season . . . however small.
Even better, run, play tennis, skateboard . . . swim in the sea . . .
(Don’t eat, sleep, revise.
Also don’t check your phone, eat, check your phone, sleep, check your phone, revise, check your phone.)

7) Positivity
Exams are not the beginning or the end of the world. They’re exams. Some people do better than others. Some people work harder than others. Some people are tall and some people aren’t. Some people can remember every box on the periodic table and some can’t, and some don’t want to. Where you end up in life is about way more than a few capital letters next to a few subject names on a sheet of paper. Chill!

8 Mess
Who cares?
Leave the past papers, the scribbled-on A4 pages, the text books and the revision guides where they are. Scoop up the chocolate wrappers, the discarded drinks and the tissues. Repeat.
Abandon all ideas of personal space for the duration. 

9 Being asked for academic help . . .
Do not use the voice.
(I don’t know what the voice is, but I know not to use it. Knowing and doing are two different things.)
Do not use the word obvious.

10 Results
What’s done is done. Rejoice regardless. They’re young, and, as the lovely Mrs Gillman who taught all three of my wee ones used to say, “You’re a long time grown”.

 Tracy Alexander


Saturday, 30 August 2014

Publishing deleted scenes – risky, cringeworthy, helpful? Lari Don

Publishers want lots of ‘stuff’ from authors now. Not just the book, but lots of other stuff. Content, it’s called, for online things.

One of the bits of content I’ve given my publishers recently is a file of deleted scenes, from my new(ish) teen thriller Mind Blind.

It wasn’t hard for me to find half a dozen deleted scenes, because I delete lots from my manuscripts as I rewrite and redraft. It’s not unusual for me to reduce the length of a book by 20,000 words or more between first draft and final publication. Which sounds very inefficient – wouldn’t I be better just writing shorter books in the first place?

But I’m not a planner and plotter. I discover the story as I write, as I follow the characters on their journey, and that means diversions and doubling back. I never deliberately write anything that I know is irrelevant at the time, every word helps me find out about the characters, their reactions to problems and my own feelings about the story. But once I reach the end and get a sense of the main thrust of the story, it’s usually clear that I've regularly wandered off the narrative path, and that some scenes are now unnecessary. They may have been necessary to get me to the end, but they’re not necessary to get the reader to the end. So I'm ruthless in slashing them out. I reckon that if you can slice out a scene without it seriously affecting the rest of the story, it probably wasn’t that important.

And in a thriller like MindBlind, where it’s very important to keep the pace up and the pages turning, I also removed scenes or parts of scenes because they slowed the story down too much. (Here’s an example of one.)

And sometimes I cut a scene, not because it’s slowing the story down or because it’s an unnecessary diversion, but because I come up with a stronger idea once I know the story and characters better. However, the original scene is still part of the way I got to know the character, so it’s part of my history with them. Here’s an example of that – it’s the first scene I ever wrote about Ciaran Bain, the hero (anti-hero) of the book. It’s not in the book, but it’s still the place I first met him!

Of course, it’s misleading to suggest that all this slashing and slicing is my idea. Quite a lot of it is, but some of it is in response to gentle prompts from my wonderful editor.
a mountain of many Mind Blind manuscripts

So, I have no problem removing large chunks of my first draft or even my fourteenth draft, because as I’m writing, I know that I’m just discovering the story, not finding the perfect way of telling it first time around. And I know that it takes a lot of work to make that original mess of scribbled ideas into a book.

But having taken all this stuff out, why on earth would I want to show it to anyone? These deleted scenes have often been removed quite early in the process, so they’re not that polished (why would I polish them, once I’ve deleted them?) So it does feel quite weird and slightly uncomfortable, revealing these unfinished bits of my creative process to the public gaze.

Even if these are scenes that I took out for plot or pace reasons, rather than pieces of writing I don’t like, they are still parts of the story that didn’t make it into the book. So is it a bit of a risk to show less than perfect examples of your writing to the world? And why on earth do it?

The first reason is the pragmatic one of feeding the voracious social media monster. (This is not a particularly good reason.)

But I wonder if a much better reason is that realising how much an author cuts from their early drafts can be useful, especially for young writers. It’s a very practical way to show that published writers don’t get it right all the time, that our first drafts are just the start of the process and that we have to work at them, slash at them, perhaps radically change them, to get them into shape. Deleted scenes are perhaps the online version of showing manuscripts covered in lots of scribbles and scorings out to groups of kids at author visits. ‘Look, I don’t get it right first time, so you don’t have to either. Just write, and see what happens!’

So, while I was wincing and cringing this week as yet another deleted scene appeared on Tumblr, I wondered:
How much do other writers delete?
Are other writers happy to let the world see the bits they sliced out?
And do readers learn anything about the writing process from deleted scenes?


Lari Don is the award-winning author of 21 books for all ages, including a teen thriller, fantasy novels for 8 – 12s, picture books, retellings of traditional tales and novellas for reluctant readers. 

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

A is for THE ARCHERS - and for ATTACHMENT. By Penny Dolan.


Confession time.
I listen to the BBC radio series “The Archers”. (Yes, I heard that groan!) It is the only soap I follow, mainly because it fits in well with doing the evening meal. 


I am also revising and fixing a long manuscript right now , which means that - while listening to the Archers - I look out for lessons for my own writing.


There is a lot to dismiss or dislike in the Archers, which makes the listening easy when you need to concentrate on cooking. I am not at all fond of those notoriously awful romantic scenes (complete with ghastly squelchy radio sound effects) or some of the characters (back when the series did offer a range of characters) or the fact that I share a birthday with Linda Snell. 



Nevertheless, for those fifteen minutes, veg-peeler in hand, I take weird pleasure from playing at script writing. I stand there, predicting lines before they are spoken, watching out for the foreshadowing moments (or the now thumping great clues) and pondering on potential plot options and development.

Sometimes (or once upon a time, as it now seems) the long- running threads could be poignant, especially if the subject echoed something you were dealing with in your own life too (and I don’t mean sheep)  just because the thread developed over real time too.


But something odd has been happening to the Archers.  I have heard rumours of a new Big Editor imported from East Enders, who is trying to “take the show back to its roots”. Maybe (or “mebbe” as Ruth would say) the differences between a “heard” script and a “watched” script aren’t totally appreciated, especially as far as characters go, and there are no visuals to back a radio story up.

All the big books on plotting, like Robert McKee’s Story, say that it is the balance between the character roles that holds a story together and, although these underlying mythic roles may overlap, each character should be fundamentally consistent. 

Not so in this rural soapland. One central “grumpy character” role – Tony - has been taken over by a new and reputable actor who sounds even grumpier and nastier. He does it very well. (Has he been asked to go for the maximum moan?) 

However – and suddenly - this “weak” character is coming over as far stronger character dramatically, which is unbalancing all sorts of other relationships in the storyline. Unsatisfying. Confusing.


Recently, a long-awaited joyous wedding ended in wailing when Tom the groom backed out. Hidden behind his seemingly stone heart was the realisation that he could not carry on trying to replace his older dead brother. However, the vital scene that would give full dramatic coherence to this strand just never took place.  We got quick glimpses. One liners and that was about all.

It did not feel like a big tragedy. It felt odd and strange, or a too-hurried exit for the actor or character in question. Who? Why? What? (And is it still impossible to contact people in Canada if you put your mind to it?)  I wasn’t involved or moved. I was just wondering what the behind-the-scenes real-life reasons or reasoning were and I was cross, because the scripts hadn’t had the courage to explore that. They also assumed that all listeners really knew the “dead John” story but it was long ago  The story concept was big in the scriptwriters heads, but did the readers/listeners accept and understand? I don't think so.

The range of characters has disappeared. People are referred to but don't speak. The women seem to have become sillier and pettier. The male characters have turned into dim hunks, untrustworthy fools or moany oldies. Even the best in the Archers are suspicious or seem condemned to the long silence of the budget-cuts.

Then last week came another drastic character change. Loyal, hardworking conference-organiser Roy and snobby Lady of the Manor Lizzie had the worst-scripted “I’m at a music festival” fling imaginable. We all know that Roy is the kind of honest fool who will blab. Oh no. Too, too wearying a plot and too miserable the consequences.  (Tempted to write “If I wanted to watch East Enders . . .”)
 

Right now, I’m barely listening to the show  when it airs. I am imagining the script meetings where all the “possibilities” are loudly brainstormed, scenes where all the writers are so entranced by all the twists and options that they forget that their story-world has to feel credible.  Have the once-many characters been written out because of budget cuts or did the actors walk?  I am sure that I glimpsed an item on BBC Writers Room inviting new writers to submit their thoughts. Are we now listening to someone's mish-mash of all the ideas sent in?  It's a mystery.

As I said earlier, I doing my own manuscript-wrangling right now and taking sideways note from what I hear and don’t hear on the Archers. Right now, the writing lessons I’m learning are:

Who are your rocks? Some characters are there to act as rocks. They need to be fairly stable all the way through the story, because if there are too many “out-of character” character changes, the reader does not know who to attach themselves, emotionally.

Watch the “volume” of your characters. When you revise, beware of characters that, emotionally & dramatically, dominate or fade when that’s not what you or your story need.

Watch your plot. The logic of the plot underpins the pact with the reader/listener. So don’t annoy with over-long diversions, such as the Jennifer’s kitchen aga-saga or unbelievable occupations such as Helen’s “successful” organic shop that closes on a whim.

What was it that you didn’t write? Don’t assume, just because you as writer know a character’s problems and what happens etc. etc. that readers/listeners do. A lot of small hints don’t offer the full blown emotional impact of a good big scene that makes everything clear. Make sure that you write all the scenes that matter.

Lastly, A is for Attachment. If your reader is no longer attached to a character – the person acts out of character with not enough explanation, alters at a basic level, or does unexplained things that lose sympathy, - they will get angry. And angry readers will close the pages, because you have broken the story contract.



Are you taking all this on board, Penny?

Yes, I am.

Good! And get back to revising that work-in-progress. Now!

Penny Dolan

ps. I’m also rather annoyed by the thought that this “Archer” tag could register on some media scanning device, and therefore add another tick to the “attention & controversy equals success for the new Archers”. ‘Cos it ain’t so. Grrr!