In that ‘help, what do I write about books this month?’
panic, I sought the help of the assembled writers at the Scattered Authors’
annual Charney Manor retreat. And in response to my plea for ideas/someone to write
the post for me, a strange electricity briefly lit up the air, powered by a
roomful of great minds churning together. So I’m proud to present, direct from
the pens of some of the UK/world’s most accomplished (but herein anonymous)
literary talents, the results of the whip-round of ‘Fictional Animals We Have Had
Crushes On’ …
Shadow the Sheepdog, from the eponymous book by Enid Blyton.
He was loyal, brave and handsome – and there was cake!
Bernard the Mouse in ‘The Rescuers’ & Miss Bianca books.
He was steadfast, kind-hearted, hard-working and determined. And he had
adventures!
Siffrin the Fox in the ‘Foxcraft’ series by Inbali Iserlis.
He’s the archetypal wounded bad boy.
Charlotte. Because she is a spider.
Mrs Frisby in ‘Mrs Frisby and the rats of Nimh’. She
displayed enormous bravery, going to the rats to ask for their help.
Aslan in ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe’. One sexy
lion/god. Hot. Smoking hot.
Baghera the black panther from ‘The Jungle Book’. Powerful,
sleek, black-furred, super-dangerous and slinky – what’s not to like?
Kaa the python from ‘The Jungle Book’. Because he hypnotises
anyone he can get close enough to squeeze.
Eeyore from ‘The House at Pooh Corner’. He’s moody, funny and
full of bon mots. Oh, and he eats thistles.
Mr Darcy’s horse with Mr Darcy on it…
Piglet from ‘The House at Pooh Corner’. Because he is a
constant friend, pink and very cute.
Black Bob the Dandy Wonder Dog. Because he was a brave, clever
and very canny border collie – so cool he spawned a ‘Viz’ parody (Black Bag the
faithful Border Bin Liner)
Kermit the Frog. He’s nerdy, enthusiastic and sweet. He’s
not HOT like Black Beauty, just endearing.
Champion the Wonder Horse. For his wonderful galloping! As
practiced by me round my nan’s garden.
Dogtanian. A dashing, swashbuckling hero.
Fiery the little dragon in ‘Fiery Gets His Wish’ by Jean
Parsons. He was little but loyal and brave.
And lastly:
I’m not really into animals.
Probably an appropriate place to stop.
(Unless anyone has any more they'd like to make public...)
