I’m feeling a bit breathless. The effort of
squeezing myself out of a narrow pigeonhole has left me a little dizzy and
light-headed. Fortunately my good friend, Robert Meyrick, is on his way round
with a bottle or two of Prosecco to calm my nerves.
He is town to give a talk at The Royal
Academy of Arts about a show he has researched and curated entitled From the Shadows; The Prints of Sydney Lee
RA (1866-1949). Not since 1945 has
there been an exhibition devoted to Lee’s art. It states in the guide book, ‘ This exhibition is entirely due to the
vision of a tiny band of collectors who have kept faith with Sydney Lee’s work
despite 60 years of neglect, and have quite literally snatched it from the
shadows.’
One New Year’s Eve many moons ago my friend
Tracy Lee and I donned headscarves and sunglasses and posed drunkenly in front of
his vast and beautiful painting The Roman
Wall (1925). It made me smile to see it again hanging over a magnificent
marble fireplace in Academy. But that is one of the possibilities of a creative
life. The spotlight can shine on you at any moment.
The theme of this exhibition chimes with my
current mood as I too feel that I am emerging from out of a dark shadow. For
the last year or so I have felt myself being squeezed into a narrow pigeon-hole labelled, middle aged mid-list author. I do not see myself in this way but
cannot seem to shake off this feeling that somewhere along the line a young
intern has placed me on an end of writing life pathway where I do not belong.
BUT I AM FIGHTING BACK.
Here’s how
Step One - Altering my own perception
I do not have to accept my place in the pigeon-hole. My head and heart are brimful of stories waiting to be told
Step two - Writing for me
I have taken three steps backwards in order
to move forward and I am writing those stories that have been niggling away at
my soul.
Step three - Finding fresh fields to conquer
I have been travelling in order to find
myself. A visit to the creative writing department at Cornell University
Step four - Old Friends
The support of SASSIES and Islington
Writers’ For Children Group has kept me going.
Step five - Never Giving Up
No matter what I can’t stop creating characters
and telling stories. It is woven onto my DNA. It is impossible for me to give
up.
So I am on the move flying towards a more
comfortable pigeon-hole. I can just make out the label. It says …?
