Sorry I am late and Happy Christmas!

 Dear anyone reading this,

I am so sorry I have nearly missed posting on my day.  I hope everyone has a lovely time in these coming days, whether you celebrate Christmas or not. I am feeling so relieved today, as yesterday I went to Cambridge with my husband and submitted my portfolio of work and a reflection on the first term of my MA in Children's Book Illustration at Anglia Ruskin College Cambridge, and in all the pressure of getting my work ready, I completely lost track of time.

It has been so wonderful drawing this term - not because I have found it easy - but because it is so hard and tiring and  interesting and challenging and the actual act of drawing has really been so absorbing and healing - it takes me out of my head and connects me to an outer reality, and the process is so absorbing that it really stops any anxious thoughts.  This has been so helpful these last months, when personally it has been very hard  (within just over eight weeks I had three bereavements - my brother and two friends)  - and nationally and internationally there are so many sad and terrible situations ongoing. Drawing has grounded me, and made me look, and given me peace, and helped me realise how so often I don't see the beauty right in front of me. I have loved being in the company of illustrators too - as a writer working in the area of picture books I have always admired illustrators and found them very gentle and creative, and my positive prejudice towards them has been proved to be based on truth - my lecturers and fellow students are all very kind, and I feel so privileged to be part of their company - it is amazing seeing what they produce. I tell everyone I feel like the worst candidate on Strictly, except, I am relieved to say, I have not been voted off, and my 'journey' does feel life-changing, and I have two and a half years to get better at illustrating! I know, thanks to my tutors and fellow students,  I have really improved just in twelve weeks!

My plan for Christmas is to draw more, and to really live in the moment, and I also hope to start jotting down ideas for new things to write. My ideal would be to write and illustrate my own picture book one day, but I also have new books for adults and children I would like to have a go at in 2024. I think focusing on Art for a while and leaving the words has been very restful and they are now shyly emerging out of the forest, asking me to pick them. I will let them come a little nearer and not try and chase them just right now.

I hope in these coming days, whether you are also going through difficult personal times or bereavement , and horrified by all the pain in the world, that you can also access the reality of gentleness and goodness in your lives, and feel hope and joy and love in spite of all the sadness there is. I love that there are fairy lights everywhere at the moment - tiny lights that transform the darkness - just as I always think that  we are so privileged to be able to write children's books, and hopefully do our little  bit to  light up the world.