This time of year is always tough for me. It feels like I've only just got back into my working rhythm after the disruption of the summer holidays then Christmas is upon us and it all goes out of the window. The house is full, space is limited, the opportunity for routine is a Christmas wish too far and knuckling down for a few hours to get something meaningful written is nigh on impossible. Besides, everyone else seems to have given up on work for a month so why not join them?
So you do, and then here comes the new year and you're in the same house, but now everyone's gone, the decorations are down and the only company you have is a blank piece of paper. The solitude you've been longing for is all yours and you haven't a clue what to write. Typical.
The start of any year feels like I'm grinding through gears. It's at times like this that I envy the routine of an office job. You turn up, you know what you have to do, you get on with it and you get paid. Right now, I'm not ready for 2020. I really can't be bothered. I've got nothing I'm burning to write and the stuff I have to write is the fag end stuff that didn't quite make it into 2019.
The New Year should feel like the start of many new opportunities, and I'm sure they will come, but right now the prospect of getting off my mince pie saturated arse and digging them out is a daunting one. It's making something out of nothing. Again. Can I really be bothered to get back on the horse when pay is shrinking and work is hard to find?
It was the same at the start of 2019 and 2018 too. I know I will come out of it and get down to business, but for now, on the Saturday before 2020 really starts, I'm having a bit of a wallow. Christmas is over, the New Year is here, and it's much the same as last year really...
There is one thing that has changed though. I have another year of experience. I have another year of work under my belt. I'm aware that I always feel like this and that I will inevitably dig it out. At the moment 2020 already seems like an exhausting prospect. In a couple of days it may just seem like a year full of possibility and opportunity. But first, there's a couple of Quality Street left in the bottom of the tin and no one even bothered opening the mulled wine. Seems a shame to waste it. See you in a month.
2 comments:
What do you actually do with the mince pies ?
I know it may be rather vanilla, but I just eat them.
The scent of cinnamon fades by February, but until then you get a faint whiff of Christmas with every trump.
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