Grunts, groans, and sits down with a sigh. Yes, I’m just back from the “Christmas Market” in my town. How much boozy chocolate, mulled wine variants and worryingly early mince pies does a nation need? As I walked back, I thought about things that might be useful for you in the run up to the festivities.
So, here’s wishing you:
1. A cunning clock that shifts time about so you can do the writing you need to do.
2. A Light to help you see a clear path through the wintry fogs, mists and gloom of Plots Gone Bad.
3. A pair of swift Writing Skis, and the skill to use them, so you can speed onwards whenever there’s a clear patch ahead.
4. Exceptionally Magic Ears so you can still hear the words of your Work In Progress way above all the nagging seasonal music and unwanted requests.
5. An Optional Food Fairy or three. Plus a happy flock of Clearaway Elves. For more than one day. 'Nuff said.
6. A Santa Claus who will stop faffing about on cakes, cards and comfy chairs in grottos and actually bring all those presents on Christmas Eve. Like he’s supposed to, you know!
7. A Cheery Facemask so you can smile at Party Questions like. “When are you going to write a book for adults?” or “We’ve just bought Russell Brand’s Pied Piper. Do you ever have ideas like that?”
8. A Book (or more) so admirable that it will thrill you, please you, bring you knowledge and understanding - without making you weep in desperation at your own feeble talent. Plus bookshelves to fill to your hearts’ content.
9. A Very Large Spoonful of Good Health for you and for yours. (This one is so important that I’m not even joking.)
10. A Deck of True Patience Cards so you don’t waste too much of your your writing time waiting for your editor/agent/publisher/whatever to call.
11. And a Collection of Good Writing Friends, who will let you grumble and witter on like this . . . and know it’s only half the story. (Thanks! You know who you are!)
12. Plus whatever else YOU need to wish for, of course.
Have a happy and peaceful December, everyone!