Sunday, 20 September 2009

Waiting for Royalties Anne Cassidy

Two tramps are standing on a bleak corner.

Estragon
Will they ever come?
Vladimir
They always come.
Estragon
How can you be sure?
Vladimir
I just know. The Royalties always come.
Estragon
What do they look like?
Vladimir
They’re different every time.
Estragon
I used to think they were a fantasy. A mirage. A set of myths made up by people to give themselves a reason to go on.
Vladimir
I’ve seen them. I’m the proof that they exist.
Estragon
Tell me about them. Describe the way you feel when you see them.
Vladimir
It’s a feeling like no other. You get the envelope, you hold it up, you feel the cheque. It’s a religious experience.
Estragon
Unless they don’t come.
Vladimir
They do come.
Estragon
What if they didn’t?
Vladimir
Why are you saying that! Do you know something? Have you got insider information?
Estragon
I might. You’re not the only one who has seen The Royalties. I know someone else who has seen them. Many years ago this person was in with the Genre Sect. He saw the Royalties for years. Then they went away.
Vladimir
Only special people see them. Chosen people.
Estragon
But when?
Vladimir
Soon. The Royalties will come soon. Trust me.
Estragon
I do. I trust you. I just wonder when they will come.
Vladimir
Soon.
Estragon
So, we just wait.
Vladimir
We just wait.

(They wait - apologies to Samuel Beckett)

10 comments:

Joanna Kenrick said...

BRILLIANT! Gave me a big laugh, thank you!

Book Maven said...

Do V and E really think the Rs will come this soon? I reckon late October is about par for the course. But if they don't come (what a dreadful thought!) I'll know there really is a recession!

Great post, Anne!

Gillian Philip said...

I love it, Anne!

Katherine Langrish said...

Brilliant!

Stroppy Author said...

Fantastic! I love it :-)

Meg Harper said...

A darn site more entertaining than the original version Anne!

Dianne Hofmeyr said...

Just what I need on a Monday morning, Anne! Brilliant!

Linda Strachan said...

Brilliant, but more of a wry grin than a smile!

adele geras said...

Terrific stuff and I agree more fun than the original. I assume that like Beckett, this is open to LEARNED INTERPRETATION! I reckon it is not about the particular set of royalties being late (ie they'll come eventually if you wait) but rather that 'royalties' as a concept and a THING IN THEMSELVES have disappeared as so many books don't earn out!

Nicola Morgan said...

Horribly horribly funny. Horribly because so true.