Friday 26 June 2009

Writer's Block: N M Browne


First of all I don’t believe in writer’s block. I believe in butcher’s block – I used to have one in my kitchen and plumber’s block – the kind that costs a fortune to unblock in my experience. I even believe in builder’s block the process whereby nothing can happen because the electrician can’t start before the plasterer, the plasterer can’t start before the plumber and there’s no way the plumber can do a thing until the electrician’s finished, but writer’s block, no. Writer’s block is the figment of an author’s imagination, an excuse for melodrama, existential despair and excessive drinking ; it is another word for idleness.
Secondly, I would like to explain that I am not personally ‘blocked’. I eat plenty of prunes, walk my dog regularly and, apart from the red wine, caffeine and chocolate habit, have quite a healthy life. The only reason I am not writing at the moment and indeed haven’t written for months is...
Well there’s the weather – we get so few nice days and I can’t see my screen outside and I can’t remember how to write with pen and paper – I get cramp just signing my name these days ( and not because I do so many autographs.)
Then there were the exams and the fact that now they are over, well,it seems only kind to let my poor overwrought children take over my work space. They do need to catch up on Facebook, MSN and Youtube so much more than I need to write a new novel. And again I think some ideas need to – how shall I put this - germinate slowly. This is especially true of ideas you haven’t yet had. The unthought story seed is as elusive as a windblown dandelion clock, that great high concept thingy waiting in some kind of inchoate state for the mind to be receptive enough to allow it to exist, needs time and patience. Of course this is not another way of saying I’m clueless, how dare you suggest it! I’m merely waiting, biding my time, not stuck at all.
In the meantime, I feel the author’s mind needs plenty of sunshine – to aid germination, fluid (preferably of the pink variety, rose, kir maybe even pink champagne) and rest. I also recommend plenty of visual stimulation, sales shopping is particular good for this as it also allows the writer to engage in useful imaginative thinking: this yellow, sleeveless sundress would look wonderful if I got a tan, worked out, lost the bingo arms, had breast augmentation surgery, botox, new teeth and wore very high heels.
What me? Got writer’s block? Whatever gave you that idea?

6 comments:

Stroppy Author said...

OF COURSE you're not blocked - that only comes when you start being worried or feeling bad about not writing. At the moment you just in a necessary fallow stage. The other luxury you can afford at this point is being ill [cough, cough] - for which there is no time in the middle of a book!

Brian Keaney said...

Procrastination is the thief of time but the writer's pawnbroker.

Katherine Roberts said...

I usually move house between books. The fact my current house has been on the market for nearly two years without selling perfectly reflects the current "blockage" in the publishing pipeline...

AnneR said...

Is that a deliberate strategy, Katherine, or does it just happen? It sounds rather drastic!

Lee said...

I don't think much about writer's block, but if you discover a way to lose those bingo arms, please let me know!

Nick Green said...

I think blocks are really voids. In short, you have to have something to say in order to say it. One needs to live a little between writing!